Is it Love? or is it Emotional Dependancy?
When was the last time you truly fell in love? Like that heart ache, stomach dropping, palm sweaty intensely unhealthy sort of love.
Do you get it now? Do you have it? Did you lose it? Have you ever believed you were in love but then later discovered that you were in fact ‘in need’ instead?
Emotional dependancy is a lot more common than I first realised. That need of your significant other to be around you, constantly giving you the attention you want from them. Getting jealous every time their phone lights up, having a list of expectations that you push them to reach, making them responsible for your happiness and self worth. Do you feel anxious when they don’t reply to your messages or return your calls? Are you focused primarily on the way your partner treats you rather than who he or she truly is on the inside? Do you unintentionally attempt to control them in the way they are around you and treat you?
Love that is laced with fear is not love. It’s Emotional dependancy. Or in other words.. neediness. It’s created inside of you when you drop the most important part of one’s self. Your self worth. Which is when you try and fill that emptiness inside you with your partner. Square peg, round hole style.
Once you make your partner responsible of your self worth and happiness, you try to make them love you in the way that you want to be loved and not how they love a person naturally.
You’ve all probably heard it or said it before but here’s a reminder… Life is not a Hollywood movie. Everyone loves in different ways and shows it in individual, different and beautiful ways. You just have to find the one that matches you and not try and change the way someone expresses their Love towards others.
If you do not love yourself, your own wonderful, particular, colourful, beautiful self. Then you will never truly see the beauty and love that others give you and appreciate it in all its deserved glory.