Some things I’ve realised now I am in my twenties

I’m sure I’m not the first one to say it but, being an adult is HARD!

I recently moved out and am now living in a flat share in North London. I live with three other housemates and we share a very white, very bland- although modern, kitchen/ living room. I’m lucky enough to have the room on the top floor so I probably have the most privacy out of us in the house. Anyway, thats besides the point.

One of the biggest things that I took for granted is the daily household necessities like, Toothpaste and toilet paper, bin bags, milk, ketchup, laundry tablets.. did you know that it’s not magically restocked?! You actually have to leave your house and BUY these things!

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Which brings me to my next topic; Money. I have taken it for granted for YEARS. I scold my past self for such carelessness with it! I’ve let about a years rent dissolve on takeaway food. I’ve spent RIDICULOUS amounts of money on dinners and nights out I can’t even remember- what was I thinking?! I’ll give you some advice, never work out on average in your teenage years how much money you wasted when you’re now living off pasta and staff food for the past three weeks… it will only enrage and depress you…

One thing that I didn’t expect is my absolute loathing of rowdy kids on public transport… or anywhere for that matter. My GOD they’re annoying! There seems to be nothing more irritating than teenagers and I publicly apologise to all the things I did in my teen years. I am so so sorry.

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Being in my twenties has introduced a new love in my life. She and I spent every night together, we’re inseparable unless forced and I could be with her all day if I could. Her name is Sleep and I’m so in love with her. When did sleep become such a great way to pass the time?!

Getting asked for ID is no longer cool and funny it is now tedious and unnecessary. All I want is a god damn glass of wine and now you’re making me dig through my bermuda triangle handbag to search for my drivers licence when we both know you saw me in here only three days ago!!

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Its been a shock to the system it’s true but its definitely been worth the crazy ride. I’m twenty one years young and loving it !

Coming to terms with the realisation that I am Deaf in my left ear.

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The moment the doctor came back with my results and told me that my left ear had lost nearly 80% of its hearing, I felt numb. I remember laughing, almost thinking it was a joke. Soon after, it sunk in. Everything else started to make sense. All the questions I had about myself…

Why was my balance so off?

Why did I have moments of dizziness and a dazed feeling?

Why was I so mentally exhausted after conversations?

Why did I find it hard to understand what my friends and family were saying unless I was looking at their face?

Why did a lot of people end a conversation with me with the words “Never mind.” ?

The biggest question of all being….

WHY IS EVERYONE MUMBLING?! 

You may think “how could you not know you were deaf in one ear? If you clearly couldn’t hear properly?” I think there was that small bit of denial in me. I wanted to believe that it was an ear infection, or too much wax in one ear and a quickie set of antibiotics or a syringe would do the trick.

There are two sides of my feelings towards this news. One being so relieved! I’m finally out of the dark. Just questioning what was wrong, not actually knowing for sure. They’re going to give me a hearing aid I’ll be able to hear again! Which is amazing!

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Picture of my having some putty put in my ear to get the right fit for the hearing aid.

But there is also this small voice in my head. That small voice that still hasn’t come to terms with the news. I’m nearly completely deaf in the left ear. And to hear again out of that ear, I will have to wear a hearing aid. And as subtle as these things are these days compared to the sort of monstrosities they could be like sticking a trumpet in your ear, People will still notice. I’m very curious to how it will change peoples perspective of me.

Will people treat me differently?

Are they less likely to converse with me in fear of miss communication?

Will I be now seen in a different light with my friends and family?

I’m writing this blog because I was searching for someone who is going through the same thing as me at my age, online and I couldn’t find anything. Couldn’t find a forum, A blog, A Vlog… nothing! And so I’m going to be the first it seems! To log my day to day experience coming to terms with this new mountain in my life. I’ll blog about my experience on wearing the hearing aid. The frustrations, the relief, the over all experience. I wish to share it with everyone and this is the best way I know how.

I’m going on an adventure guys…

Will you join me?

🙂